Fans of Jacob, you sicken me…

I’ve been putting it off, but now I’m going to unload my Twilight burden.

I went to the midnight screening of Eclipse last Wednesday night.  Now I hate Twilight, but the kind of hate where I am morbidly curious about how they’re going to do it this time (yeah, I’ll even watch the last one/two), not the Miley Cyrus kind of hate where I can’t even see her face without having to look away.  Its the kind of hate borne of wanting to know what all the hype is about, reading the books (cringeing all the way), feeling kinda dirty, then still watching the movies, even though they’re bad in a whole other way.

So, lets start with the movie.  Its all so awkward.  The characters are awkward, their interactions are awkward, their supposed beauty and grace is awkward.  Just awkward.  The dialogue is stilted, the humour not terribly funny, my ability to care about any of it nearing a dangerous low.  Dangerous for the future of the franchise, not for me, personally.  The movie hits all the bases, feels kinda rushed and like nothing much of any import happens.  Kristen Stewart’s still hella annoying, Taylor Lautner’s just there as eye candy and to be annoying, and Rob Pattinson, way too intense and annoying.  Wait, this was probably the most annoying of the books as well if I remember rightly.  And all the vampires are supposed to be, like, all beautiful or whatever.  Here they’re just some actors wearing far too much makeup and they look faintly nauseating.

With New Moon I thought that the music was good at least (even if some of the artists aligning themselves with Twilight was baffling to say the least).  With Eclipse the music was average at best.  So no upside there.

And the audience?  Lets just say that there were girls/women literally screaming, moaning, making sickening comments whenever Jacob-sans-shirt appeared on the screen.  These people sicken me.  I don’t know what they’re thinking, but the reality of the situation is that they seem to have disconnected their brain completely and are channelling their inner animal.

So to summarise.  It is all vulgar.  And a waste of time.  If you haven’t already seen it I would advise giving it a miss.

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