Dismisanthropy

I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster over the last little while.  Or maybe just in a big downward spiral.  Yeah, that’s probably closer to the mark.  I’ve been telling myself different reasons for what’s been causing it.  Mostly to do with whatever the last little irritation was that made me snap. Today I realised that those things have all been indicators of what had truly been going on.  My emotional energy had been on a slow drain, not caused by the strain of being around people constantly at work/giving out a lot of my emotional energy volunteering at church/people who are idiots and are trying my patience.  I had blamed it on being Introverted.  I felt like I was becoming a misanthropist.  What I realised today: this was never the case. The truth is, I’ve been feeling much better since the start of the week but I only noticed how big the change has been tonight when faced with a situation where I would have been grumpy and obnoxious but instead I felt great! The affecting factor was a certain person who has been pinging on my emotional radar.  This is someone I hadn’t seen for over a month but who I was still in vicarious contact with via social media.  We weren’t talking.  We weren’t not talking.  But the possibility was there. So earlier in the week after having a heated discussion with a third party (hand-in-hand with some things I posted on various social media during/after the fact), they decided to delete both me and the other person off Facebook and other social media platforms. The difference it has made to my emotional wellbeing is amazing!  Who knew that one person could have such a massive effect. Welcome to a whole new world.

PS. Okay, I lie.  I knew this was a problem for a while but I’d also been successfully lying to myself.  Here’s an example of one of the things I posted on the interwebs that I feel was partially responsible for this week’s total takedown… I had been saving it up for a while to use at just the right moment, and hey!  It worked!

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
—Daniell Koepke

PPS. Throwing in this cute picture which was one of the social media posts mentioned above…

i love us babes edition
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