portrait of the artist…

(one of my favourite things I’ve learned to do in the last year is making my own gifs)

bye 2015; hey there 2016

It’s been a year.  Such a year.  Ups.  Downs.  Kind of an emotional rollercoaster really.  I feel like I’ve been very stretched this year with a lot of things that have happened, and also really grateful for so much good I’ve got going on as well.

Last night when I was with a group of the team [fam] from church seeing in the New Year, we went around the group talking about what we’re thankful for in the past year, and for so many it was a sense of belonging that has been found at Hillsong Melbourne, and in the teams where we serve together.  It truly has become a family for so many, and I’m glad to see that we can all be there for each other through the storms life throws at us, and celebrating the good things as well.  It’s been a huge step for me moving into a leadership role at church, and what with everything else life has thrown at me this year, relationally and emotionally, it has been a constant challenge.  But I’ve always had people around me to support me and talk me through how I’m feeling, and the sense of God’s faithfulness and his grace in every season has been unbelievable.  These guys are some of the very best.

And not only at church.  There’s a real sense of community with people at work as well, and it’s also become like a surrogate family, which has made going to work a real joy.  Not that there haven’t been some significant challenges there as well, but they are truly such a great crew it makes everything worthwhile.

Despite how challenging the year has been, I’ve felt a real sense that the coming year is going to be a lot more settled.  I’ve been feeling a lot more positive about the future than I can remember feeling before.  The best truly is yet to come!

(I totally stole these pictures from people on FaceBook/Instagram… sorry guys).

bah humbug

This is me at a Christmas Eve-eve party with some work peeps.  Happy season!  Bye.

thirtyoneninetythree

I haven’t picked up my camera in a while.  I haven’t felt it.  That thing.  You can see how long it’s been.  Just look at the last post.  Sometime at the start of spring.  But yesterday while I was sitting on the sofa in the back yard, another thing I haven’t done in a while, I saw myself reflected in the glass doors and just had to capture the essence of what I had seen.  I’m calling it After Adam (ha!).

I’ve stopped cutting my hair and my beard.  I’ve never had my hair grow so long before.  I’d always gotten tired of it, or decided it was time for a change.  Maybe I’m becoming more patient.  Less restless.  Whatever, I like it.

That monstera deliciosa coming on so lush.  And I’ve finally had success with sprouting an avocado stone.  All it took was forgetting about it and assuming it was dead.

While I had my camera out, I saw this light shining in through my bedroom window.  At first I assumed it was the golden hour, but later I realised it was because of the fires in Western Australia creating a red-gold haze in the sky.

It’s easy to forget to remember that everything is abundant.  Especially when it sometimes seems like the world is falling down around us all.

caught up

It can be so easy to be swept along by the tide of life and forget to stop and think.  I’ve hardly ever been good at staying updated with what’s happening in my life on here, because life is just… life? and it keeps going and keeps going, but considering how bad I am at staying in touch with people I should probably at least make an effort.

So as you know, it’s winter.  Melbourne just suffered its way through the coldest July in 20 years (it didn’t feel all that cold to me, but whatever).  This has found me sitting wrapped in a duvet and basically on top of my heater most of the time.  I’m ready for a change.

Church is going well… it feels good to be part of a community with some really great people, and to have a team of volunteers around me who feel like a family (I don’t know if I’ve mentioned but for the past few months I’ve been given the responsibility of overseeing the whole hosting team for one of the evening services, which considering we meet in a theatre which has three levels, and is quite a juggle logistically, is no small challenge).

(That’s me in the beanie in the top left picture)

Work has been going along nicely as well.  I’ve been managing more consistently and been feeling a lot more settled in general.  I was just thinking the other day about how great it is to work with actual adults, most of whom can be relied on to take responsibility for their work and get it done, as well as just be great to be around in general.  I’ve had some annoying technical stuff happen on my shifts in the last couple of weeks, and the staff just keep things going whilst I’m running back and forth like a crazy person.  We’ve got a good team.

And lastly, it’s my favourite time of year: the International Film Festival.  This year I have 25 films booked (just nine left to go now before it finishes up at the weekend), I’m pretty sure that’s more than I had last year even.  I haven’t had any huge stand-outs this year, mostly because none of my favourite directors have films playing, and I’ve also not gone to a lot of films because they’re already scheduled for release at work over the next few months.  I’m going to predict that my favourite film playing this years festival is one that I won’t see for a while… the new adaptation of Macbeth by Australian director Justin Kurzel, which looks A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  I had an early feeling it would play the festival but it wasn’t in the programme, then on Tuesday they announced it as a surprise screening this Sunday afternoon.  It is already sold out, and also I couldn’t have gone anyway because church.  But seriously.  It releases theatrically here in October, and I can’t wait.

Anything else?  Oh love life.  What love life?  Forever alone.  Undateable.  Yadda yadda yadda.  Singletons unite!

Life.  Oh life.  Ooooh li-i-i-i-fe. Oh life. Do-do-do-do.

Bye now.  I have a meeting at church to go to then some weird film at the film festival.

the desolation

This was me today before my 2 minute on-foot commute to work.  As you can see it was a struggle.

Dismisanthropy

I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster over the last little while.  Or maybe just in a big downward spiral.  Yeah, that’s probably closer to the mark.  I’ve been telling myself different reasons for what’s been causing it.  Mostly to do with whatever the last little irritation was that made me snap. Today I realised that those things have all been indicators of what had truly been going on.  My emotional energy had been on a slow drain, not caused by the strain of being around people constantly at work/giving out a lot of my emotional energy volunteering at church/people who are idiots and are trying my patience.  I had blamed it on being Introverted.  I felt like I was becoming a misanthropist.  What I realised today: this was never the case. The truth is, I’ve been feeling much better since the start of the week but I only noticed how big the change has been tonight when faced with a situation where I would have been grumpy and obnoxious but instead I felt great! The affecting factor was a certain person who has been pinging on my emotional radar.  This is someone I hadn’t seen for over a month but who I was still in vicarious contact with via social media.  We weren’t talking.  We weren’t not talking.  But the possibility was there. So earlier in the week after having a heated discussion with a third party (hand-in-hand with some things I posted on various social media during/after the fact), they decided to delete both me and the other person off Facebook and other social media platforms. The difference it has made to my emotional wellbeing is amazing!  Who knew that one person could have such a massive effect. Welcome to a whole new world.

PS. Okay, I lie.  I knew this was a problem for a while but I’d also been successfully lying to myself.  Here’s an example of one of the things I posted on the interwebs that I feel was partially responsible for this week’s total takedown… I had been saving it up for a while to use at just the right moment, and hey!  It worked!

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”

—Daniell Koepke

PPS. Throwing in this cute picture which was one of the social media posts mentioned above…

Judgemental Tree Frog

(via)

THIS FROG IS JUDGING MY LIFE CHOICES BUT I KIND OF LIKE IT

Slythenclaw

I feel like I’ve been knitting this scarf for a very long time.  So long.  An eternity.  But I think I’m almost done.  And then I can start again with another one.  Isn’t life funnnn?!

EDIT: Scrolling down, I note that it has, in point of fact, been only just over a month since I began knitting this scarf while visiting Amber in Brisbane.  Ha!  Bleep bloop.

thirtyoneohone

Mister Strange and I feel similarly about mornings…

Although for me, alcohol has very little, if anything, to do with the matter.